Numbers alone are easy to forget.
Stories alone are memorable but singular.
Together, the scope and impact of negative behavior becomes clear.
The #MeToo Anthologies spark conversations about the impact of harassment and abuse. Giving victims a voice enables us to work together to create social change. Secondary and tertiary effects impact everyone because instances of harassment and abuse are so prevalent.
We include stories about workplace harassment and abuse alongside domestic violence and sexual violence because the motivations and behaviors involved and the negative social impact are the same for all these types of harassment and abuse.
Domestic Violence:most instances of domestic violence go unreported because many people don’t know what “counts” as domestic violence. It is generally assumed that domestic violence must be physical or sexual abuse, because those are the cases that are popularized in crime shows such as Law & Order SVU, CSI, and others.
Reactive Attachment Disorder:this is one of the most commonly misdiagnosed psychological disorder because it appears to be a behavioral disorder such as oppositional defiance disorder. RAD is the leading cause of inherited abusive behavior because children develop RAD when they are not nurtured and cared for as infants. This inhibits their ability to form normal, healthy, attachments to other people which often leads to abusive behavior because they learned how to charm strangers to survive but the belief that power and control are the only ways to keep someone in a relationship is ingrained. Thus relationships with individuals who have RAD appear perfectly normal in the beginning and become controlling and abusive over time. It is also very common among adopted children, however if treated properly, children who have been removed from their abusive environment and have loving caregivers can learn to form healthy attachments.
Types of Abuse:
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder:any traumatic event can lead to PTSD. The trauma does not necessarily have to be something large, like an explosion or a beating. It can be receiving a threatening email, an accident, a misinterpreted touch. Each individual reacts differently to different types of terrifying events.
This website has lists of abuse agencies by region and country worldwide. There’s a lot of information, so it can take some searching to find the right organization for your needs. They also have information about domestic violence in many languages which can be essential when you are trying to help someone who is only comfortable with their own language. They have a chart that shows which languages they have available, so if you don’t find your language consider helping them out by writing or translating something yourself.
If you are worried about someone finding Hot Peach Pages (or any of the other websites listed here) in your browser history, they have information on internet safety on their SurfSavvy!page.
This website is a little clunky, it takes a bit of exploring to find everything because they have so much information. They have info about supporting domestic violence awareness, questions to ask yourself if you aren’t sure that you’re being abused, and a page with some basic questions to ask when you are talking to a lawyer.
They have resources for financial education, cosmetic and reconstructive surgery, and identity protection. It’s really comprehensive, I just wish it were a little more intuitive to navigate.
This website is a great Spanish language resource. There seems to be a large number of articles with the same breadth of information as the NCADV but focused more globally. If you are in Latin America, Spain, or other Spanish speaking communities this will be a valuable source of information. They have hotline numbers for their offices in Madrid and Bogota listed at the bottom of their website.
This is the UK equivalent to the NCADV. They have information on how to get help in the UK as well as news about their most recent awareness campaigns. If you’re living in the UK this is the first place to go to learn about domestic violence laws and policies in the UK and how you can get the help you need.
US Laws about Domestic Violence
There are a number of important domestic violence laws in the US. VAWA, the violence against women act, was reauthorized in 2013. This is the document that governs where the lines are between bad behavior and criminal behavior with regard to physical and sexual abuse. You can find a lot of information on VAWA 2013 with a simple google search, including the actual bill itself. It provides comprehensive protection, so in addition to women and children, the bill covers male victims, the LGBT community, and Native Americans living on reservations.
Most major cities in the US have women’s shelters and men’s shelters. Often people assume these shelters are resources for the homeless, and they do do a lot of work with the homeless. However, the women’s shelters have a strong focus on helping women escape domestic violence. Many women’s shelters will take children with their mothers, although the age limit for boys can be a problem. Most of these shelters keep their location secret, so you have to look them up and call them to make use of their services or to volunteer to help them.
One of the most common actions taken against an abuser is to issue a restraining order. The distance indicated can vary, and enforcement can be an issue, but it provides grounds for legal action if the abuser disregards the restraining order. Laws and requirements vary by state. However, one important but often overlooked federal law is that anyone who has been accused of domestic violence (the abuser) automatically has his or her right to firearms revoked. It is important that you make sure your abuser gets listed in the directory so gun and ammunition sellers know not to sell to your abuser. Also, there is no guarantee that any firearms that your abuser already possesses will be removed. Remember, enforcement and interpretation of these laws vary from state to state. Find legal advice in your state.